Without my wife, who passed away six months ago, the holiday season doesn't hold the meaning for me of past seasons. This is an empty time, devoid of happiness, filled with sadness. Certainly, there are no thoughts of romance in my mind and no feelings in my heart.
Yes, I have family, but, still, my beloved gave me courage and optimism. She was my courage and my heart. Without her, I am indecisive, hesitant, and fearful.
There were better times. My memories are filled with this beautiful young girl smiling as she walked toward me or caught my eye from a distance when we were separated by several aisles in a large department store.
We loved shopping for gifts for our children, taking great care to have an equal number and quality of Christmas presents for each on Christmas morning.
We enjoyed sitting across from one another in a booth in our favorite restaurant, having breakfast, drinking coffee, and talking.
There are so many more memories. I'll leave now. Remembering brings tears and sadness.
Monday, December 14, 2009
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