Music to live for

There is nothing like a good romantic ballad. Some of the best were recorded in the forties and fifties, but the frantic sixties had their own brand. For the sixties, I'm thiking...surprise...the Beatles. Their classic "Yesterday" is alive and well after all of these years.

A few of the vocalists I particularly liked were Tony Bennett (still going strong), Don Cornell, Don Cherry (a professional golfer, too), Bobby Darin, and a host more. On the female side, Doris Day, Patti Paige, Edith Piaf, and her 21st Century doppleganger, Madeleine Peyroux, a young vocalist from George who hit her stride as a street and cafe singer in Paris.

Once upon a time (a terrific ballad), music spoke of gentleness and enduring love, the total opposite of today's frenetic music with but one theme--instant sex. Sure, the old music had its sexual undertones, but it wasd indirect, soothing, calming, anticipatory.

Today, anticipation is an ancient trait, as our 30-minute sitcom generation moves through life on a record-breaking dash to the bedroom, or the nearest booth in a bar.

In spite of modern freneticism, I am convinced that most women today (and men, too, if they were honest) actually think about enduring love but are bound by the glue of modern mores and peer pressure.

Personally, I'll take a little old-fashioned music anytime. At least I can hear the lyrics over the din.

On Giving Advice

I rarely if ever offer advice, even when someone actively and earnesrly asks me. For one thing, people rarely follow advice anyway. And when the do, things can go wrong and they'll wind up blaming me.

So, how do I handle requests for advice?

I simply listen closely, ask a few questions, and listen somemore until I have figured out what they intended to do all along. Then, I say something innocuous like, "Sounds like a workable solution," followed by some words of praise like, "You're an intelligent guy (or gal). I know you'll make the right decisiom for you."

Occasionally someone will press me beyond this scenario. Then I fall back on the old "Well, here's what I might do under the same circumstances..." This usually works.

Take care if you are an advice giver. I've also had friends of long standing stomp away in anger when they thought I wasn't saying what they wanted to hear.

People actually don't want advice. They want a listener.

Daly City

We lived in Daly City when I was a kid. I always thought it was actually San Francisco, and even to this day, I will answer "San Francisci" when someone asks which part of the Bay Area we lived in. Of course, we lived in other places like San Rafael, Petaluma, San Pablo, Richmond, Oakland, and as far East as Tracy. But I consider only Daly City to be San Francisco.

This is so in part because we lived in an apartment on Mission Street just across the line from San Francisco. The whole neighborhood looked alike to me, generic buildings and businesses. And we wandered all around the place, as far South as Colma and several blocks into San Francisco proper.

All in all, it was a fairly pleasant place with lots of kids, including several cousins, aunts, and uncles. Childhood is almost always pleasant when you have a family around.