On Giving Advice

I rarely if ever offer advice, even when someone actively and earnesrly asks me. For one thing, people rarely follow advice anyway. And when the do, things can go wrong and they'll wind up blaming me.

So, how do I handle requests for advice?

I simply listen closely, ask a few questions, and listen somemore until I have figured out what they intended to do all along. Then, I say something innocuous like, "Sounds like a workable solution," followed by some words of praise like, "You're an intelligent guy (or gal). I know you'll make the right decisiom for you."

Occasionally someone will press me beyond this scenario. Then I fall back on the old "Well, here's what I might do under the same circumstances..." This usually works.

Take care if you are an advice giver. I've also had friends of long standing stomp away in anger when they thought I wasn't saying what they wanted to hear.

People actually don't want advice. They want a listener.

Daly City

We lived in Daly City when I was a kid. I always thought it was actually San Francisco, and even to this day, I will answer "San Francisci" when someone asks which part of the Bay Area we lived in. Of course, we lived in other places like San Rafael, Petaluma, San Pablo, Richmond, Oakland, and as far East as Tracy. But I consider only Daly City to be San Francisco.

This is so in part because we lived in an apartment on Mission Street just across the line from San Francisco. The whole neighborhood looked alike to me, generic buildings and businesses. And we wandered all around the place, as far South as Colma and several blocks into San Francisco proper.

All in all, it was a fairly pleasant place with lots of kids, including several cousins, aunts, and uncles. Childhood is almost always pleasant when you have a family around.