Tuesday, August 28, 2007

On Giving Advice

I rarely if ever offer advice, even when someone actively and earnesrly asks me. For one thing, people rarely follow advice anyway. And when the do, things can go wrong and they'll wind up blaming me.

So, how do I handle requests for advice?

I simply listen closely, ask a few questions, and listen somemore until I have figured out what they intended to do all along. Then, I say something innocuous like, "Sounds like a workable solution," followed by some words of praise like, "You're an intelligent guy (or gal). I know you'll make the right decisiom for you."

Occasionally someone will press me beyond this scenario. Then I fall back on the old "Well, here's what I might do under the same circumstances..." This usually works.

Take care if you are an advice giver. I've also had friends of long standing stomp away in anger when they thought I wasn't saying what they wanted to hear.

People actually don't want advice. They want a listener.

No comments: